10 (Very Valid) Reasons Books Are Evil

Posted on Updated on

In honor of Halloween, I’ve put together a blog post about the most evil things I can imagine…books.

old-books-436498_1920

  1. Books steal your sleep.
    • I start reading a book. The sun is out and shinning (but I am cuddled in bed, admiring the sunshine from inside the comfort of my own home). I keep reading as the sun dips lower and lower into the sky. The next thing I know it’s 12:30 at night. I consider, briefly, that I have a to get up early in the morning. I decide on one more chapter. Then another. By 1:30, I’m close enough to the end that I couldn’t possibly stop. Next thing I know, it’s 2:00 AM. Then of course, I spend at least 30 minutes going over the book in my head.
  2. Books make you forget to eat.
    • For reasons similar to those listed in #1. Time passes so quickly when you’re stuck in another world.
  3. Books make you cry your eyes out over fictional character’s deaths.
    • Self explanatory. Examples: Fred Weasley, Dobby, Primrose Everdeen, Augustus Waters, Rue, Professor Snape… (just to name a few).
  4. Books make you fall in love with fictional characters.
    • EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER EVER. Even the ones you hate, you love to hate them.
  5. Books are keeping you in a perpetual state of longing.
    • You long for the next book to finally arrive. Once you finally get all the books in the series, you long for the series to not be over. It is a never ending state of wanting something that you have to wait for or that will never come.
  6. Books tear your heart out and stomp all over it.
    • I refer to reasons 3, 4, & 5.
  7. Books rob your bank account.
    • I personally like physical books when I can get my hands on them. And those suckers are expensive! Especially when you are on a budget. And you go into the bookstore for one book. ONE BOOK. And you leave with five. Because…
  8. Books are sirens that call out to you from the bookshelves. Singing to you as you buy them and keeping you hooked as you read through every single letter on the pages until its done. And then it leaves you shipwrecked in an emotional crisis.
  9. Books hurt your back.
    • The best reading position is the most painful long term. Elbows propping up torso, book lying on bed in front of me. Back arched. Comfortable for a while. Ultimately painful. But it’s my favorite position to read in.
  10. Books always end.
    • This perpetuates the cycle of evilness–it ends, I long, I miss the characters, I go desperately to the bookstore to find a new love, I walk out broke with ten books, then I read them in uncomfortable positions, lose sleep, forget to eat, they tear my heart out, they end, and then I start over again. The cycle is vicious.

Here are my reasons for why books are evil. It is for these same reasons that I continue to read books. They are evil, but I love them.

Hope you enjoyed this article!

Please let me know if you have your own reasons for why books are evil. Or if you’d like to share a particular book that is especially evil!

-GW

One thought on “10 (Very Valid) Reasons Books Are Evil

    RedHeadedBookLover said:
    October 21, 2015 at 3:22 pm

    I just wanted to tell you that I really enjoyed reading your post (which is amazingly written by the way!) and also that I have checked out your blog and it is safe to say I love it! (: so keep up the writing so I can keep reading!!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s